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March 21, 2005

Comments

AnP

Men are able to separate information, stimulus, emotions, relationships, etc. into separate compartments in their brains, while women tend to link everything together.

Perhaps women seem to focus more on the emotions but, in reality, we are actually blogging about the big picture(?) Say, I'd blog about the tsunami but instead would focus mainly on what I felt about what has happened. Dunno... Maybe...

Gigi

When I first started blogging almost six months ago, I was familiar with only two types of blogs: the daily journal and soc/pol/econ update/commentary. My life just isn't that interesting enough for the former, and although I'm (silently) opinionated I thought there were too many good ones out there of the latter (Sassy, you, etc.) and I had nothing brilliant or fresh to contribute to the genre. Which is how I came to start writing personal short essays -- at least I could say no one knew my life better and therefore I was an expert on the topic. :)

Obviously I've seen many other blogs since then with the same/similar format. Among the men, Wil Wheaton dot net and Nickerblog (Wil's friend) write a lot about their lives, thoughts, and wishes. I read Wil's regularly -- and even when he writes about his political/social beliefs, they're sort of imbedded within the personal. But he never comes across as "wimpy" (at least to me), something I would guess several men would be concerned about when displaying their "sensitive" side.

I can't really speculate on stereotypes, or if any generalizations can be made regarding female Vs male bloggers. The only thing I can say is we tend to write well when we write about what we know best. :)

melissa

I used to read this blog of a guy, Alex. He was very good with expressing his feelings, and in fact, his entries are very analytical of things that happen to him in the course of his life. Sad to to say he's stopped blogging. He's now engaged to smitten-- https://www.thesmitten.com/

CAM

I don't think that's a very original observation. Men can't talk about themselves and their feelings, period. Why then should they be able to blog about personal stuff when that involves 'talking' about the same personal stuff to an even larger audience?

torn

Dear CAM -- Actually it wasn't intended to be "a very original observation". I left a little clue about this by using the word "stereotype" in the headline and the phrase "widely held view" in the first sentence. Other than that, broadly I agree with what you say, although as the other comments point out, some men have been prepared to break out of the mold and to write about their feelings. -- torn

melissa

Here's another exception: https://settingherfree.blogspot.com/2005_03_01_settingherfree_archive.html
this guy is letting loose on the net about his feelings for a girl. That's personal, isn't it? Although of course we can't be truly certain that he is male.

torn

Interesting -- it seems genuine to me. Of course he should tell her right? But he's gotta do it well. What about his kuya image?! It might not ring true if he were to buy a motorbike and start hanging out with bargirls -- he's got to accent the positives of kuyaism! Some girls go for kuyas don't they?

OK here's another angle. Perhaps men keep their feelings to themselves because women LIKE them like that. Perhaps Marga would be horrified to read his blog?

melissa

Haha! The blog is pretty engaging, isn't it? It's only a few days old, and I bet there will be a lot of surprising twists here.

And if I were Marga hmm well I'd be stunned, to say the least.

Sassy

Young men are more prone to ranting about their lovelife online (behind the veil of anonymty, of course). The openness seems to get lost as men age. Dunno why. Blogs of men in their 30s for instance are about careers, etc. There is one, though (forgot the URL), about a father of a 3-year-old boy who openly writes about his feelings for his kid. This guy does not talk about men stuff, you know what I mean. He writes as though it were his son reading his blog. And, emotionally, the entries are very open and very honest. Very refreshing and very admirable.

Carla


I'm also CAM, in case you're getting confused. I get confused about whether to use initials or my first name. Anyway, uy pikon si torn. :-) I was just surprised by the seeming obviousness of your observation about gender stereotypes and blogs.

I will add, though, that men are generally inarticulate about their emotions not just because of some genetic component that makes them so but because they are discouraged from being so. Women, on the other, are expected to talk more about personal things rather than matters of social import. Social norms, I guess: men have to be strong and silent, women can be expressive but only with their feelings.

While I agree that it's a better thing for women to be more vociferous about their (political) opinions, I'm not quite convinced that it's a good thing for women OR men to be blogging about personal stuff. Blogs are on-line diaries, I know, but it just embarasses me sometimes to read about other people's accounts of their lives (interesting as they may be) and "feelings". This Oprah syndrome, this culture of collective colonics distresses me. I am tremendously interested in what people think of the world around them, which is why I read political/topical blogs and am greatly tempted to start one up (and I'm a woman). But I can't take any more of men and women chattering about their "feelings". Suck it in, you whiny, whiny, people. :-P

torn

Hello Carla -- Sorry for my rather curt response to your last comment -- you're right, it sounded pikon, sorry!

I'm sure you are right that it all comes down to socialization and I agree that both women and men are brought up to expect men to be strong and silent.

What you like to read is a matter of personal taste, of course -- but I like a mix. That's the great thing about blogging for me -- it can mean so many different things. Some of the eavesdropping on bloggers' palpak lives can be voyeuristic of course, but sometimes it can be, well, interesting. For example, "gripes from the grumpy girl" documents the life of an unmarried woman in her late 30s, her blind dates, her disappointments and triumphs, her ups and downs. She's very honest about it all I must say, though eventually I got tired of reading about her problems (and, yes, a little embarrassed, as you say).

I do hope you begin your own blog. The piece you wrote on British English was very good -- that's why it got sent around Manila by e-mail. And as an expat pinay with a sharp sense of observation I'm sure you would have interesting things to say. I guess you know "Pinay expat", from Germany? The first comment above is from her. That's a good blog. Anyway, I hope you start blogging soon and that you eventually meet my mate Lucy Morgan -- who lives near you.

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