Outside the Michael Jackson trial, the most ridiculous statements of recent weeks have come from the “Bono for World Bank president” camp. But what will happen to U2 when Bono, his shades, and his condescending “man of the people” attitude take up residence at M Street, Washington? Fortunately David Borowitz has the perfect solution.
Longtime Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan stunned the worlds of finance and pop music today by announcing that he would leave his post “effective immediately” to become lead singer of the Irish rock band U2.
In filling the key position with the platinum-selling musical act, Mr. Greenspan is replacing U2 lead singer Bono, who is rumored to be heading for the top job at the World Bank.
Mr. Greenspan struck many observers as an unlikely choice to assume such an important role in one of the world’s most influential rock bands, since his convoluted and often cryptic use of the English language seems incompatible with the more straightforward demands of rock music.
Reportedly, the former Fed chairman has already rewritten the lyrics of one of U2’s most famous songs, “With or Without You,” to read, “Going forward, the cost of my living with or without you may exceed my capacity to fulfill any reasonable expectations of success in either or both of those endeavors.”