Jollibee and the ugly Americans

Oh man, you’ve got to read this. A bunch of young Americans visited Jollibee last month (which I will say straight off marks them as adventurous) and one of them wrote up their trip here. I thought it was pretty funny actually:

Meanwhile, Ty was staring at her Yumburger. "This isn't something we can eat," she says. "There's a pink...sauce... and it's pink?" I tried being positive. "Do you think it's still Thousand Island dressing?" She put the burger in her mouth and then instantly winced. "No." "What's it like?" She shook her head slowly, sadly. She whispered just one word to describe the taste of her cheeseburger: "Sweet." "It's like Wendy's took all the goo that comes out of their burgers when they're done cooking them, pressed that down into a mold, froze it in a patty shape, and exported it to the Philippines, where they put it between some bread, put pink sauce on it and sent it back here."

Dessert was no better:

The last straw, for me, was the banana langka pie. It doesn't taste like banana, nor pie. It tastes like burned pineapple butter on stale bread crust. With some kind of membrane in it.

There’s plenty more where that came from. Lively though Pammie’s account is, the comments from outraged and humourless Filipinos here are even funnier. Pammie posts some of the e-mail comments she received here. She notes that "Jollibee fucked your mom" is my new favorite insult in the world.

To be fair, most of the commenters managed to see the joke.

pamie, just to let you know that not all Filipinos are troglodytes whose world is centered on Jollibee and would like to create an international incident over crappy fast food. Apparently a lot of them were able to escape the guys in white and got access to a computer; we will try not to let that happen again.

Please forgive them, it's either their mothers dropped them on their head in infancy or maybe their parents were first cousins.

Great stuff. As Caffeine Sparks says, the main lesson of this tale is: “Filipinos will kill for Jollibee”.

Comments

[Mik]

Read the entry and found it hilarious, too! Was pretty shocked at the negative reactions but figured... those were probably inevitable :D

[Carla]

We're too sensitive about the wrong things. I remember the uproar years ago about those Spanish biscuits called "Filipinos". Pinoys were incensed because the offending cookies were brown with white filling. Ouch.

[Henry]

No doubt Pammie is now a front runner for a years supply of free Big Macs.

[Issy]

I found the reactions funnier than her post. I sort of understand all the anger, but the articulations of most of those who posted in her forum were absurdly out of proportion. I wish us Pinoys would get as incensed over GMA's lies, our politicans in general, the American soldiers rape case, ad nauseum.

[Sidney]

In my opinion if you don't like to experience new cultures, smells, colors, tastes, surroundings, etc. you better stay home !
Why do you travel after all?
I don't have any sympathy for such stupid tourists!
They make it harder for the people genuinely interested in other cultures.
Her remarks were not funny !

[domokun]

if i'm not mistake though i think they were in jollibee in the states.

[gonzo]

Yes i think it was a Jollibee somewhere in the US.

There is a book out now on weird foods around the world (can't remember the title but i saw it in Fully Booked, Rockwell) and i suppose the Jollibee menu items of sweet burgers and sweet hotdog spaghetti could be included in it, but then again in today's global cross-cultural exchange, Jollibee's pinoy take on an American food icon would be considered pretty normal.

Have you ever eaten a burger in Spain? The meat is red, as in artificially coloured red. Or what about the (essential for aussies) beetroot in an Aussie burger? Or Japanese-style "curry"? Wonder what a South Asian would say about it. For that matter, Taco Bell is about as far removed from Mexican cuisine as Jollibee is to American. I have also eaten the weirdest fluorescent yellow "paella" in a restaurant in Frankfurt that had zero paella flavour. I could go on for days on this subject but i think it's enough to say that what keeps the culinary world interesting for me is precisely how people interpret other people's cuisines to match their own taste. You can learn a lot about a foreign culture this way.

Indeed, the concept of "East-West fusion" cooking is the West's way of jazzing up its own bland cuisines. To an Asian, "East-West" cooking represents a dilution of traditional Asian flavours. It is food for white people.

One more thing: Hate to say it but with the exception of people like Anthony Bourdain, never ever trust the gastronomic opinion of the average American.

[Toni]

Such a huge contradiction to their claimed spirit for adventure!

[Mila Tan]

Most people aren't that adventurous when it comes to food, and American's aren't more or less willing to risk new tastes. Keep in mind that a good proportion of American's don't have passports, don't travel. And when you travel through the greater part of America, the food is pretty much the same, from one town to the next.

[maruja]

stumbled through your blog and I found it amusing.

i agree that pinoys are too sensitive over negative matters. remember claire danes?

reading the entry, I wasn't mad at all. i don't expect americans to like Jollibee. the burgers here are not the same kind being sold in jollibee stores in the US.

it's no big deal, just like the mohammed cartoons.

[neck neck mo]

who cares? obese yanks complaining about the quality of philippine branded junk food-it's like meth users in the u.s. complaining about the purity of shabu in the philippines.

at the end of the day these people are consuming crap.

[keio supremo]

Well, what the American tourist said about Jollibee food is true. In fact, even I myself complain about it -- but i still like it. Its their opinion and their entitled to it, its a free country. But one thing I dont get is, if American fast food is better than Jollibee, then why does the bee keep on kicking ronald's ass --- in terms of revenue and profit (Philippine setting only)... and if American fast food is better, then why are American consumers suing ronald mcdonald? bad food? Ill just give my advise to those tourists ... the reason you guys wanna go out and become tourists is to see places and try new things ... u dont go out then compare apples and oranges, but if the reason you wanna become tourists is to tell everyone about the superiority of your culture ... well, you may want to change your mind... I also suggest you watch Star Trek ...all of them and perhaps learn something nice

[Naps]

I may have to agree with Keio Supremo... Come on Pinoy, let's be a good sport and learn how to accept criticisms... We can over react sometimes like that Clair Danes incident which lead to the boycott of her films... that Filipino biscuits in Spain... etc.. giving nasty comments like what they did to Pammy for me is unpatriotic. It portrays a negative image of us being Pinoys... That's their opinion so we must respect it. It's different when they insult our character or say something bad about our family. I'd give them a "Zidane head butt" if that were the case. But what they did was just give their honest opinion about their experience. I'm sure Pinoys will do the same if the have experienced strange food from other countries. Most of us by nature are "mapag-pintas" (come on admit it!)

I love being Pinoy but i am one of those "sporty" types who would take criticisms in a positive way as a room for improvement. I've been living in the UK as a resident for years and I've never encountered a single roach in my home... so can we blame Clair Danes for her comments... It was true that there were roaches flying everywhere that time so why should we be angry?

The Filipino biscuits? Do the French people complain when we call fries as French Fries or that long hard bread as French Bread?

I also find it funny and a bit embarrassing to be honest on the banning of the Da Vinci code. Isn't the Philippines supposed to be a free country? A democratic country? Is our faith as Catholics that fragile that a single movie will turn us into secular converts?

Why not vent our patriotism to the current problem... GMA... she's done much worse and said much offensive words which is a threat to our much fought after freedom and yet a lot of us don't even bother about it...

Sometimes the truth hurts... but no matter how painful it is, it will set you free...

[noel]

pls send me your nature of your business to my emeail-add.

=noel=

[Red Ribbon Bakery]

Hmmmm, that's another way of looking at it. Nice post.

arrielle green