Fresh controversy surrounded Workers’ Party Candidate James Gomez Affair after he said he would not sue Lee Kuan Yew for calling him a liar.
“So Mr Gomez Affair doesn’t think the Singaporean court system will give him a fair hearing”, spluttered the Chief Justice. “This is definitely defamation of every single member of the judiciary” (if found guilty, Mr Gomez Affair would face up to 950 years in a heavily airconditioned prison cell).
Mr Gomez Affair stirred up further controversy when he said would spend time with his family before flying back to his researcher’s job in Sweden.
“So Mr Gomez Affair thinks ordinary Singaporeans aren’t good enough for him”, cried Foreign Minister George Yeo. “He is spitting in the face of every Singaporean!”
“James Gomez Affair is a skunk”, said Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew.
Just kidding folks—James Gomez was finally given his passport back on Friday after enduring three marathon grilling sessions at the hands of his interrogators, lasting from three to eight hours. Eight hours! (“What did you at work today, dear”, “oh I questioned this guy all day about a form that he thought he had handed in, but didn’t”). These minority race forms must be reeeeal important documents.