Torn and frayed in Manila

I thought torture was illegal in Australia?

From the BBC.

A council in the Australian city of Sydney is taking radical measures against car-revving youths - the calming tones of singer Barry Manilow.

Officials in Rockdale say that local youths have been hanging around in car parks, revving their engines and generally annoying residents.

So the council has decided to strike back.

From July, Barry Manilow's greatest hits will be piped into one car park in a bid to drive the youths away.
Deputy mayor Bill Saravinovski said the decision was taken because the youths were intimidating local people.

"They are just hanging out and causing a nuisance to the general public," he told the AFP news agency.

Thanks John -- never thought I'd have a photo of Barry Manilow on my blog ...

Guy Goma: bluffer supreme

Guy Goma made my day, he really did. I’ve been chuckling about him all afternoon.

In case you don’t know the story, a BBC news programme invited Guy Kewney, an expert in trademark law, to comment on a landmark court decision involving Apple computers. The same day, a guy called Guy Goma also showed up at the BBC for an interview with the computer department. A research assistant poked her head out the door, asked the nearest person if he was called Guy and the rest is history. You can catch Guy Goma’s spirited performance here.

The latest from nrot & deyarf

The New York Times published an interesting article last week on popular names for baby girls.

In 1999, there were only eight newborn American girls named Nevaeh. Last year, it was the 70th-most-popular name for baby girls, ahead of Sara, Vanessa and Amanda.

The spectacular rise of Nevaeh (commonly pronounced nah-VAY-uh) has little precedent, name experts say. They watched it break into the top 1,000 of girls' names in 2001 at No. 266, the third-highest debut ever. Four years later it cracked the top 100 with 4,457 newborn Nevaehs, having made the fastest climb among all names in more than a century, the entire period for which the Social Security Administration has such records.

Nevaeh is not in the Bible or any religious text. It is not from a foreign language. It is not the name of a celebrity, real or fictional.

Nevaeh is Heaven spelled backward.
…

The surge of Nevaeh can be traced to a single event: the appearance of a Christian rock star, Sonny Sandoval of P.O.D., on MTV in 2000 with his baby daughter, Nevaeh. "Heaven spelled backwards," he said.

This all means something, but so far I can’t quite figure out what that is.

My weird desires

A friend has a phobia about the microphones in meeting rooms. During long and insufferably tedious meetings she says she is seized with a desire to press the mike’s little green button and yell something completely inappropriate into it.

I can completely sympathize, as I am full of such irrational longings. My worst fear concerns the urinals at work. If there is someone next to me (usually someone quiet and inoffensive) I sometimes have a crazy urge to pat his bottom! There is nothing at all sexual in this, it is just the sheer outrageousness of it that appeals to me. I mean what would you do if you one of your colleagues patted your bottom at the urinal? What could you say?

I have no idea why I long to seem ridiculous in this way, but it brings me out in a cold sweat every time I think that one day I might act out one of these odd compulsions (I have others!).

It’s like that feeling when you look down from a tall building—the chances are that you won’t fling yourself off, but you can’t be entirely sure …

The war on Christmas

Nice rant on the most wonderful day of the year. Thanks Butch.

Oh man, fuck Christmas.

Seriously – are you kidding me with this “There’s a war on Christmas” bullshit? FOX News wasn’t raking in enough cash already from all the Christmas commercials for Kill ‘em All Barbie and Girls Gone Wild Brand Toddler Gear? They had to start publishing books about some bogus attack on Christianity?

...

And now they're all worked up about Christmas being stolen. What is this, the fucking Fairytale Network? It’s a national fucking holiday and we’re spending gobs of our hard-earned tax dollars on wreaths and lights for your special Santa day. But these bastards are all “But they call them Holiday trees!” Here’s a clue: no, they fucking don’t. Ok, maybe in a couple places, like on FOXNews.com and at the White House, but if Christmas is under attack, I’m Kris fucking Kringle.

I can’t imagine why this guy was sacked

From the British Daily Telegraph.

A train driver has been sacked after stripping naked while at the controls of a 125mph express.

The driver is thought to have used his mobile to take a naked picture of himself on a Sheffield to London train he was operating for Midland Main Line.

The driver is believed to have sent the picture to a Midland Main Line employee, who alerted bosses.
A Midland Main Line spokeswoman said today: "The driver was suspended straight away while we held a full investigation.

Khmer man claims to own miracle cow

There are countries as wacky as the Philippines. As the friend who sent me this story said, the fourth paragraph is the best:

Phnom Penh - A Cambodian man claims his cow is possessed by a magic healing spirit that emigrated from Thailand, but religious leaders and officials say it's not true.

Kim Chan, 40, of Kampong Trach in Kampot province, said his cow became possessed last week and now its dung and urine cure diseases.

He had been visited by a woman on a bicycle who fell down and wept when she saw the cow, claiming to recognise in its eyes a spirit that had until recently possessed a cow in Thailand. The animal has become known as Preah Kou, or Holy Cow.

Officials were quick to dismiss the bovine as an ordinary animal. "We had a holy cow here a year-and-a-half ago. You don't get two that close together," said deputy governor Khun Somnang.

According to the excellently named ministry of cults and religions there is a mundane explanation:

Min Khin, was also scathing of the claims of a cow with magical powers - a phenomenon featured in local media so often late last year that prime minister Hun Sen himself felt compelled to go public and warn ordinary citizens not to be too gullible in swallowing tales of healing herbivores.

"I don't believe there is a healing cow spirit from Thailand in a Kampot cow. This is a story spread by a group of taxi drivers to make money by taking people somewhere nobody normally wants to go," said Min Khin, secretary of state for the ministry and cults and religions.

It was not clear on Tuesday whether the cow's owner Kim Chan was a taxi driver or had taxi driver friends. But Min Khin had an ominous warning for him and other owners of potentially magic cattle who chose to go public with dubious claims.

"The ministry of cults and religions will be sending representatives to follow up these events and inspect claims of magic livestock," he said.

Great stuff. Thanks Brian!

France: salvation is at hand

From a comment on la magnifique caffeine sparks:

A Russian politician has offered to send the country's violent football thugs to France to sort out the rioters.

Far right politician Vladimir Zhirinovsky says he already has hundreds of volunteers many with special forces training.

In a telegram sent to France, Zhirinovsky, who is also Deputy Speaker of the Duma, said: "We are ready with volunteer units of football fans and activists who have served in military combat hot spots.

"I am convinced that our initiative would restore total order and calm the rioting within 48 hours."

French authorities have had to use emergency powers in a bid to tackle rioters who have swept the country in the last two weeks.

Buenos Aires commuters torch train

In my early teens, I lived with my parents in Buenos Aires. We used travel into town by train often and I seem to remember the service being quite good. Well, either it has deteriorated or Argentinian commuters are no longer as patient as they were. Here is what happened to one delayed train.

eBay leather trousers ad

Just in case you missed the eBay leather trousers ad.

You are bidding on a mistake. We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I'm stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

The relationship, probably for better, never materialised. The girl, whose name I can't even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.

Ultimately, the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasise that aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.

I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They're for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I'll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.

Again, they're men's pants, but they'd probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It's a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.

They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.
These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren't worn onstage. They didn't straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.

Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I'm hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you're trying to bed. Please buy these leather pants .

Thanks Nige!